i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
