The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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