i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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