Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
