The maid of honor just puked.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
