Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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