Me too!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
