Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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