smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
