I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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