if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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