I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
