the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
