____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
