I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
