Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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