no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
