I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize