im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
