dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
