Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
