ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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