i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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