I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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