Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize