that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
