think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize