How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
