Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
