I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
