im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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