AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
