If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
