GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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