I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
