The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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