After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
