if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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