sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
