can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
