my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
