You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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