Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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