Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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