I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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