I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
