I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
