You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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