so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
