Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
