How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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