I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize