Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
