Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
