Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
