So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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