two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
