Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
