If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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