What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
