im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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